Kindness is easier to practice when children know what to do in a specific moment. Montessori Grace and Courtesy lessons make everyday interactions visible: how to ask for help, enter someone’s space, wait, or offer assistance.
Model a short phrase and practice it during calm play. You might pretend to need a turn and say, “May I use it when you are finished?” Invite your child to try, without requiring a perfect performance. A younger child may use a gesture or need you to speak alongside them.
When conflict happens, first stop unsafe behavior. Then describe what you observed and help each child communicate. “You wanted the block. He was still using it.” Offer a practical next step, such as waiting, finding another block, or asking an adult for help.
Repair can be an action: returning an item, helping rebuild, or checking whether someone is okay. An apology can be meaningful when a child understands it; repeatedly demanding a word while a child is overwhelmed may leave the actual problem unresolved. Adults also model repair by acknowledging their own mistakes and showing what they will do differently.
Try this at home
Practice asking for space
With a toy character, model “Please move back” or “I need room.” Invite your child to try a phrase or gesture. Then show the other character respecting the request. Practice when calm so the skill is familiar during crowded play.
Act out asking for help
Pretend a toy cannot open a container and say, “Can you help me?” Let your child be the helper. Switch roles, keeping the task easy. Younger children can point or bring the item to an adult; the goal is communication, not perfect manners.
Make repair a real action
If blocks are knocked down, help the children decide whether to rebuild together or gather the pieces. If water spills, offer a cloth. Respect a child’s wish for space after being hurt. Repair should address what happened, rather than require a hug or a scripted apology.
Model your own mistakes
If you interrupt, say, “I spoke while you were talking. I will listen now,” and follow through. If you speak sharply, return when calm and acknowledge it without blaming your child. Seeing adults repair gives children an example they can use.
A small plan for this week
Choose one courtesy skill for the whole family, such as asking before taking an item. Practice naturally and describe helpful actions: “You asked and waited for an answer.” Avoid turning every interaction into a correction.
Reminders as you begin
- Practice one useful phrase during pretend play.
- Name the problem without labeling either child.
- Offer a concrete way to repair what happened.
Choose one idea to try this week. If you would like help adapting it to your child, ask your teacher or Mi Casita administration in person.
Keep Learning
Learning to Share and Take Turns
Helping Children Through Big Feelings and Transitions
Further reading: American Academy of Pediatrics.